The unwillingness to take responsibility for feeding and engineering one’s own sexual excitation appears to be more common in men than in women, or at least more glaringly common. All too often, men automatically blame women for whatever erotic interest arises in them toward women, as so succinctly illustrated by declarations like: “She put a spell on me” or “She makes me hard” or “She turns me on.” Women are still frequently viewed as being responsible, to a significant degree, for their own rapes, regardless of how liberally such cases are treated in court. And not just women, but sometimes also girls.
The supposed helplessness of men — whether suave, drooling, or just plain geeky — in the presence of feminine allure has potentially dangerous implications, especially insofar as it may contrast with their investment in maintaining self-images free of helplessness or powerlessness. » Read more: Stop Blaming the Sirens: Ditching the Bewitching Myth
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Breast augmentation is the sterilized term for it — but whatever we call it, it’s showing no signs of diminishing. There were just under 330,000 such operations in the United States in 2006, up 13% from 2005. In 2008 there were 356,000 (many of them repeat customers), despite a seriously sagging economy. Getting breast implants is now the most popular cosmetic surgical procedure in the US, with liposuction coming in second (with women, not surprisingly, opting for it ten times as often as men) — fat suctioned from the midriff resurfacing, in a certain sense, as a kind of superfat for bigger breasts.
Sexual excitation — the amplification of which will be referred to from now on as charge — is not just something that happens to us, but often is also something that we, however unknowingly, generate in ourselves.
R.M. asked on Sept. 15, 2008: After reading some of your work around sexuality (
A.G. asked in 2006: Robert, recently I've become interested in Jung's concept of an "anima woman" who, as I understand it, in some way takes on or reflects a man's projection of the feminine aspect of his own soul (or who perhaps is unwittingly a good hook for such projections). One person said if you are in a relationship with this type of woman then you feel like you are falling into her soul, but you are really falling into a reflection of your own (in its feminine manifestation).
A.G. asked in 2006: Robert, do you still agree with what you wrote in 1989 in The Way of the Lover?
I am concerned that this "shadow" [“inner rapist,” as discussed in an online conversation in a forum devoted to Robert’s work] is being coined by some as being something that all men have (ie: since the cavemen days) and perhaps need to connect with if they are to become men who can truly tap into becoming men who live and exemplify true intimacy, passion and wholeness (ie: and thereby get a handle on