We desperately need authentic community, not just as an appealing concept or occasional gathering of kindred spirits, but as a living reality firmly grounded in post-tribal, cult-transcending wakefulness, integrity, intimacy, and practicality. » Read more: Authentic Community
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LOST AT SEA
By Diane Masters (May 2010)
They told us not to swim there,
too steep a drop to climb out where the waves crash.
Hot, hot sun, beach all to ourselves.
“I can do this,” you insist.
I do not stay to watch as your strong arms reach for the deeper waters.
Immersed in the rhythm of the rushing pulse,
my back towards you as I march in time,
my display of trust is not peeking back –
though by now you can’t even see me.
» Read more: Lost At Sea
Challenging — and being challenged by — others is essential for our growth, but this does not mean that this is, whatever its form, always a good thing. If challenge is not delivered with compassion, it will tend to overpower rather than empower. If it is laced with the demand that it be unquestioningly heard, it will generate either submission or rebellion. If it is too soft, it will likely be lacking in needed impact. And so on. Challenge is an art, to be practiced with consistent care, however spontaneously brought forth it may be. » Read more: The Challenge of Challenging
He is speaking slowly and carefully, accurately describing the verbal dynamics of what has just happened between himself and his partner. Several times she starts to speak, but he gently waves her off, saying that when he’s done, she’ll have her turn to speak. On he goes, deftly dissecting the tiny argument they’d gotten into five or so minutes ago.
She leans toward him, her eyes sad, her jaw tightening, as if fighting to hold back her speech; she is afraid that if she interrupts him, he will very likely label her as immature, or — though he’d never say it outloud — as a bitch. So she keeps quiet. Two more minutes pass. He’s still not done.
Finally, she breaks eye contact, looking down. He shows no sign of noticing. She’s thinking about leaving him, and he doesn’t have a clue. The signs are there, and have been for a while, but he’s missing them. When he stops a minute later, she has nothing to say. Tears cover her face. They never argue again. Such brilliant cognition, such an incisive, finely nuanced mind, but such emotional retardation — this is what she writes about him, a few months after she has left him. » Read more: Listening, and a Deeper Listening…
Intimate relationship is, to put it mildly, at a very interesting point in contemporary culture.
In a small but significantly increasing percentage of the population, intimate relationship has over the last four or five decades evolved so far from its long-established ways — mutating in diverse directions — that its very nature and structuring, once such an unquestioned given, is clearly up for some deep questioning and reformulating.
Reformulating, revisioning, restructuring, reinventing — how we tend to look at intimate relationship is changing almost as rapidly as intimate relationship itself. » Read more: The Evolution & Stages of Intimate Relationship
A.G. asked on March 30, 2009: Robert, during the most recent module of the Practicum you spoke about the I-Thou relationship to the divine, a.k.a. “God in the 2nd-person.” This is a subject that's been on my mind for a while now, having also come up during a one-day event with Terry Patten in Sacramento several weeks ago. I'd love for you to expand on what you said at the Practicum.
Could you tell us about your own relationship to spirit in the 2nd-person, how that evolved, and where you're at with it now? Why is it important to relate to Spirit in the 2nd person, as opposed to 1st- or 3rd-person? What blocks or limitations do people tend to have to relating to God or the Mystery in that way? What recommendations would you have for those wanting to cultivate such a relationship with the divine? » Read more: I-Thou: Spirit in the 2nd-Person
S. asked on December 1, 2008: What does it mean to be and feel feminine?
Since we have both masculine and feminine in us, I would like to ask Robert this question: What does it mean to be and feel feminine?
Robert Augustus Masters:
As I’ve said before, I don’t find the categories of “feminine” and “masculine” very useful. Attributing qualities exclusively to one or the other tends to generate more confusion than clarity. Nevertheless, there’s still something to be said about what it means for a woman to step more deeply into her femininity, her quintessential femaleness. » Read more: What does it mean to be and feel feminine?
I don’t think I’ve ever disagreed so strongly with so many movie critics over a film. Their distaste for and dismissal of Darren Aronofsky’s latest work, The Fountain, was not all that surprising, given that it’s a film that cannot be truly appreciated, let alone fully resonated with, unless one has already spent some quality time in spiritual bootcamp investigating — and not just intellectually — core issues like the nature of identity, love, being, and death, not to mention the means through which these can best be explored. » Read more: More Than Entertainment: A Review of The Fountain
L.H. asked in 2006: Robert, I get so much from everything that you share, but this is standing out for me these days...
“...by putting our passion into leaving our prisons rather than trying to make them cozier or sexier (so that we, to take but one example, no longer confuse the eroticizing of unresolved issues with sexual freedom).”
I am finding it VERY challenging to watch this pattern in people in positions of power or in “committed relationships.” I feel like I am so keenly aware of the damage done to others from these positions and I desire to see that pain end. Its hard to enough to witness it in myself and others when we are going about our day to day (not as therapist, ministers etc), mostly due to the fact that I am still processing the pain I have caused other or they have caused me by acting on those passions that cozy up our prisons. Lately I find myself dealing with loved ones who appear to be doing everything they can to keep those bars in tact while thinking or acting like they are doing the opposite. The lines between keeping a higher perspective and my own emotional reactions are getting harder for me to separate. How do we differentiate our personal judgments from a higher principal? What is our personal responsibility in speaking out when we know? Are we guilty of enabling the pathology when we witness it and do nothing? » Read more: Knowing When to Expose Wrongdoing
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S.S. asked on August 13, 2008: My question for Robert is… (and it is difficult for me to ask clearly because I have no idea of an answer) Please can you say something about boundaries?
I am focused on processing emotional issues which usually involve break down rather than build up. It reminds me of having colonic irrigation without the appropriate bacteria being replaced in the system. I would appreciate any guidance in the art of setting boundaries.
Is it wise to clear emotions, letting the natural self shine through without some kind of artful protection? » Read more: Healthy Boundaries